A couple years ago, I did a 30 days of gratitude post, and it’s a post I still enjoy reading. I wanted to do it again this year—maybe especially this year, which seems to deliver one blow after another. There still a lot of good, and I’m feeling as thankful in 2020 as ever.
However, as I’ve talked about before (most recently in my post on disenfranchised grief), I think it’s important not to dismiss your trials and sadness. Saying, “Someone always has it worse” isn’t a helpful way to approach our feelings, and it often ends up making us feel worse as we struggle to “feel better” in the face of grief or struggle simply because our situation isn’t as bad as it could be.
We’re all on different journeys, and we’re all entitled to our feelings about those journeys. Still, we can experience the challenge, be with the challenge, and continue to enjoy the beauty and the goodness, too. And practicing that gratitude helps ease the burden of whatever is bringing us down.
I used this list of prompts (some minor adjustments) to reflect on everything I’m grateful for right now.
What’s the nicest compliment you’ve been given recently?
Recently, one of the members popped his head back in the studio after class was over to say, “You’re a really great coach, thank you.” It made my day.
There’s also a compliment I received years ago, probably 15 years ago, but it’s stuck with me so beautifully and I bring it to mind every time I feel self-doubt creep in. “You’re gold wherever you go,” he said. It still reminds me to shine and that I can make things happen.
Who gives the best advice?
It’s probably my sister! She’s gotten a lot of practice….I dump pretty much every question on her, from “Should I buy this?” to “I’m in the middle of an existential crisis, again, pls hlp.”
What’s your favorite modern technology and how does it improve your life?
Still the internet. It’s a love/hate situation, but since we’re focusing on gratitude here, I am grateful for how quickly I can find answers to my questions, communicate with people I love, buy what I need, and all that.
What’s your best memory with your mom?
Probably last year when she came to Las Vegas. We don’t “hang out” that much, so to get to show her around a city she’d never seen before was really a lot of fun.
What’s something you have today that you didn’t have at this time last year?
A home! A real house that’s ours, and we painted my bathroom/closet purple. It feels really good.
What is something nice that someone else has done for you lately?
Offered me a job. I don’t discount that I’ve “earned” it, in the sense that I’ve got the experience and the commitment, but it was still nice to be thought of first.
When you look in the mirror, what’s your favorite physical feature?
I’ve always loved my legs and my lips.
Who’s the best listener you know?
It may be my brother. He’s really good at just listening, not interrupting, and giving little suggestions when you ask for it or when you’re done speaking. He’s also got some very strongly held opinions that are different than mine, and over the past few years he’s gotten better at letting me speak mine without being cruel or dismissive.
What are your strongest skills?
Writing. Coaching.
What do you love about the city where you live?
There are lots of trails and open spaces, and even though I don’t like beer and I’m not a heavy drinker of any type of alcohol, I love the microbrew culture! Especially now that more and more places brew ciders, which I do enjoy when I go out. And I love that it’s relatively close to home.
What three things do you love about your significant other?
He’s super-passionate about the things he cares about. He’s so great about doing favors for me—he knows how much I dislike going out for one thing (I’m all about stacking my errands), so he’ll do it for me if it ever comes up as necessary. He gets really excited about new opportunities and ideas.
What personality trait are you most proud of?
At this point, probably my patience, which combines with an ability to roll with the punches. I’m on a pretty even keel most of the time.
What’s your favorite memory of your dad?
Almost anything sports/athletic related. He was my first coach and biggest fan.
What’s something you bought recently that you’re grateful for?
My mattress and adjustable bed frame. It was a huge purchase, and I debated for weeks whether I really “deserved” something so expensive, when I’ve slept for nearly four decades on perfectly flat beds that do not move. But I love it so much! It’s by far the most comfortable mattress I’ve ever had, and I put my feet up every night while I’m reading. I’m so glad I bought it.
What’s your favorite sight on your way to work?
I drive right toward the mountains, and I love gazing at them every day as I go.
Who makes you laugh?
My friend Cathy. I miss her so much! I’ve only seen her a couple of times since we graduated from college, but when we’re together, I laugh the deep laughs that almost hurt. She’s hilarious.
What’s your favorite hobby?
I don’t have much in the line of hobbies right now. I need to work on that. I still think of writing as a hobby, but that makes up about half of my income at this point, so I’m not doing much hobby-writing currently. Except rarely on this blog, I guess. 🙂
I enjoy baking. I used to do a lot of drawing.
Who provides you with the most encouragement and support?
My parents. I remember when I graduated college and had decided to go to the Netherlands and be a nanny for a year—I called them with this whole list of reasons why it would be good for me and why they should be okay with it, but I didn’t need it. All I said was, “I’m going to take a job as a nanny in the Netherlands” and my mom said, “That sounds like it’ll be great.” I do things a lot differently than they do, but they always seem to trust my judgment completely, and support my efforts as best they can.
What scent do you enjoy?
Right now, gingerbread is on my mind because I just made some. I love the smell of anything baking.
What’s something you rely on every day?
Most days, my car. Every day…dog poop bags, my fridge/stove, running water.
Who challenges you the most and what do you learn from them?
Right now, there’s a particular member who’s not afraid to cause a fuss. It’s awful, truly, and I dread when I see this person is signed up for class because I never know what kind of scene will transpire. But this person reminds me to stand up for myself—they’ve made me do it, working right through my dislike of confrontation—and reminds me that sometimes it’s okay to cause a scene. (Not in the gym, please. But sometimes.)
It’s also an opportunity to practice the art of giving the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know her history. And in moments that aren’t tense and fraught, she’s kind and appreciative, and I remember the divine in her, too.
What type of environment makes you feel most alive/inspired or relaxed/peaceful?
I think in both cases, it’s the prairie. I’ve lived at the beach and in the mountains, and I enjoy both, but I grew up on the prairie and there’s something about being home, being able to see for miles, all that open space and you can’t see anyone else….it’s peaceful and inspiring. Potential seems limitless there.
What’s your favorite restaurant?
Tough one! It’s probably Curry Masala in Rapid City, SD. I could eat there every day and never get tired of it.
There are many others that hold favorite memories. The Med, in Boulder, CO, is where my boyfriend and I had our first date almost 10 years ago…and it closed amidst the COVID. 🙁
Casa Mun, in Buenos Aires, was a closed-door restaurant (puerta cerrada) where I had the best meal of my life with some amazing friends.
What’s your least favorite chore…and why are you grateful for it anyway?
Dishes. Almost more than I dislike washing dishes, I dislike unloading the dishwasher. Still: I’m grateful that I have a dishwasher, and that I have plenty of food to dirty those dishes every day.
What’s your favorite memory with your siblings?
Truly, so many. Pretty much everything I can remember about my sixth grade year, when it was just the three of us in our country school with our teacher. Sleeping outside on the trampoline. Countless shenanigans and projects as kids. Most recently, my sister’s wedding, which we held at my brother’s house.
What do you love about the holidays?
I think I mostly love anticipation and hopefulness. I also love shopping for and giving gifts, receiving gifts from people I wasn’t expecting to get me anything, egg nog, baking (especially my mom’s), and getting to be at home.
What’s your favorite spot in your home?
Tough one! I’m really content in this home. I love the kitchen because I’ve finally got the counterspace to cook and bake more comfortably. I love our couch. I love my bathroom/closet, which is purple!
What simple pleasures do you enjoy?
Coffee in the mornings. My super-soft comforter. My snowman robe. Watching my dog stretch or chase a rabbit or wrap his tail over his nose when he’s curled up in bed.
What’s the most amazing thing about your body?
That it’s forever biased toward life, toward wellness. It’s constantly battling back enemies I’ll never know anything about, because it does its job so well. It’s made of billions of cells, and all they care about is me.
I marvel at its ability to adapt, how everything is connected, and how it feels “off” at times, an early warning that it needs love and support.
How are you thankful in 2020?