A lot of people suffer on a big scale. Life gets uncomfortable at times; we refer to it as “painful” as we dread, dwell on, and remember uncomfortable events.
We suffer on a smaller scale, too: a lot of people suffer through exercise. It was while studying yoga that I learned to make an important distinction that comes in very handy at the gym–and throughout all of life: There’s a world of difference between pain and suffering.
Pain is unavoidable.
It happens to all of us, whether it’s by choice with a 10-mile run or 50 push-ups, or more of a surprise with a paper cut or a broken arm, the loss of a treasured item or the loss of a loved one. These events are painful. In many cases we try to avoid them, but they happen anyway.
Suffering is optional.
Suffering is a choice we make when we stub our toes, keep looking at a watch during that run, or break up with a partner. Suffering is in the fight.
The harder we fight it, the more it hurts. The more we dread it, the more pain and frustration we go through when it happens. The more we think about it, the longer we’re forced to experience the painful event.
This is suffering, and it gets in the way of our workouts and our happiness.
Once, I went to the dentist and she found a cavity. She had a cancellation, so she filled my tooth right then and there. No big deal. I had no time to think about it or dread the next appointment, so I didn’t suffer. I dealt with the minor pain and got on with my life.
In contrast, years earlier, I needed to have my wisdom teeth removed. My appointment wasn’t for four months, so for that whole time I was terrified (and grossed out) by the idea of someone digging four impacted wisdom teeth out of my mouth.
I went to the appointment nearly in tears. I was shaking so hard before they administered the anesthesia that the assistant got me a blanket, thinking I was cold. In the following days, I refused to eat because I didn’t want to taste blood, didn’t want my stitches to come out, didn’t want to risk the dreaded dry socket.
I suffered a short procedure and a few days of recovery for nearly five months. Truthfully, the memory of the event isn’t that bad. I kept so much cotton in my mouth that I never tasted the blood. I took the painkillers so I actually never even felt pain. The stitches came out when they were right and ready, and I didn’t get dry socket.
I made something out of nothing. I suffered needlessly.
When we think about something negatively and with dread, we’re suffering needlessly. Whatever discomfort you experience with exercise is confined to the hour you’re in the gym (plus maybe a little soreness in the following days). You can embrace this discomfort as a part of the process, experience it, and still get through it without suffering at all.
I encourage you to experiment with this idea if you find yourself suffering in the gym or, really, in any area of your life. Use these tips:
Consider any sensation (of discomfort or pain) a part of the process.
Say to yourself, “This is what it feels like to run five miles” or “This is what it feels like after you lift heavy weights.”
Remember the temporary nature of those sensations.
Five minutes from now, what difference will another 30 seconds of sprinting matter? Five years from now, do you still want to be experiencing the gym, or any event, with as much pain and acuity as you’re experiencing now?
Ask yourself, “Is this really so awful? Or am I choosing to experience it as awful?”
That’s not to downplay the truly difficult experiences in our lives, or the really hard workouts. But it is to take responsibility for the way we respond, both in and out of the gym.
Stay present.
Most of our suffering occurs before or after the actual pain or discomfort–sometimes years before or after. Anyone who dreads their workouts knows what I mean.
In the present moment, there’s no anxiety nor regret: there is only what is, right now. If you’re having a painful experience, don’t try to separate yourself from it. Dig into the pain and get present with it. Stay with it. Experience it. And let it subside when it subsides.
The sooner we learn to separate pain and suffering and recognize that pain is inevitable but suffering is a choice, the sooner our lives–and our workouts–get a little smoother, and the tough times easier to bear.
Have you ever contemplated your relationship with pain and suffering?